Beckham – has a history of haircuts

 

People who spend their entire day at work perusing various lifestyle websites might have noticed that the beautiful ladies at Grazia dedicated a feature to Victoria Beckham and her amazing hair.

That was all the inspiration that The Spoiler needed to essentially lift the idea, only applying it to her husband, David. See some of his most magnificent hair do’s after the jump… 

1. The Neville Cut

Rather interestingly, Gary Neville has spent most of his career perfecting a “vintage Beckham” look. It’s not hard to achieve – all that’s required is a fine mop of brunette hair, a tub of grease, and the kind of demi-beard that you might find on a young teenager who has decided that girls like a soft tickle when they’re snogging.

2. Jarhead

Some might remember a film of the same name a few years ago, about marines sitting around waiting to kill people, all wearing a standard issue haircut - it gets its name because it makes the subject’s head look ever so slightly like a jar of marmalade/lemon curd. Jamie Redknapp recently attempted to bring this one back, with absolutely no success whatsoever.

3. Alice Band

Fact fans might be interested to know that Alice Bands are also known as “fascinators” – presumably because they’re really fascinating. Normally worn by teenage girls who need to keep their fringes tamed when they’re doing homework, Beckham thought he’d introduce these to grown men in their 20s. Did it catch on? Think about that one for a second.

4. The “Rod Stewart”

When Rod Stewart morphed from stylish mod frontman of The Faces into something rather more sleazy, his hair underwent a thrilling change – one that involved highlights, and a feathery texture that was very a la mode in the 1980s. In the above picture, Beckham pays homage to 1981/2 Rod Stewart, and does it very well.

5. Mohican

Probably Beckham’s most iconic moment, this look spawned a massive nationwide movement, which found men in suits turning up to the office like they were merely seconds away from hacking one up, and gobbing directly into your face. As quickly as it appeared, it was gone. Such is the Beckham way.

6. The “Legally Blonde”

There is a very fine line to navigate between being meterosexual and a transvestite, and for a brief window during his time in Spain, Beckham trod this line with the deft skills of a trapeze artist. When he went blonde and long, it was by far his most womanly phase. With the possible exception of the time he went out in one of Posh’s pencil skirts.

7. Samurai

Ahh, the Samurai look. This one didn’t catch on at all. Still, Beckham persevered for a time, presumably flirting with the idea of accessorising with a nice gentlemanly kimono and a sword while he was at it. Other celebrities of note who tried the Samurai look include: Tom Cruise. But he only did it for a rubbish film.

8. Hoxton Fin

Very popular with the kind of people who took their fashion very seriously during the early stages of the millennium, David Beckham took the “Hoxton Fin” and popularised it amongst normal citizens who hadn’t once wept over a copy of The Face whilst high on ketamine. Fashion circles were presumably furious about this.

9. Skinhead

Like most people who are seriously enthusiastic about their hair, David Beckham has a default setting in times when he can’t really decide what to do next. That seemingly involves flying his barber over for preposterous money, and telling him to spend twenty seconds zipping it all off. Once the popular choice amongst kids with serious attitude problems.

10. Braids

Sergio Ramos was recently spotted giving this one a go, and whilst we like to think that we live in a world of equality where nothing should be race specific, this is one haircut not intended for white people. Even Bo Derek – so lithe and beautiful in the movie 10 – couldn’t pull this one off. A big mistake. Huge.