Saturday, February 16, 2013
The Top 10 Ugliest Yard Decorations in America
Americans love to decorate their yards. While homeowners may think they are showing off some beautiful yard decorations, they might be making their neighbors sick and embarrassed. Save your yard and your neighbors from embarrassment with this top ten list of the ugliest yard decorations in America:
10. Anything that Flashes or Blinks
No one wants to see flashing lights or blinking signs. Get rid of them, and never bring them back. It’s tacky, ugly, and just not attractive.
9. Too Much of a Good Thing
Whether it be lights or even potted plants, there is a limit to what is attractive. Take it down a notch and decorate with style, not with quantity.
8. Fake Deer
You are not fooling anyone; those life-size plastic deer are not life-like. Neither are any of other plastic woodland creatures that seem to congregate around the tree in your front yard. Let nature do it’s job, and refrain from putting fake animals everywhere.
7. Inflatables
No matter the season, and Christmas is the big one, inflatables have worn out their welcome. Christmas trees are wonderful, but a 12-foot unnaturally green inflatable Christmas tree blocking your doorway is going too far. Each year and with every season, the inflatables get bigger and uglier. Some yards always have an inflatable, and neighbors can throw away their calendars and judge the season by looking out their windows.
6. Plastic Geese
At first, these geese sitting in lovely couples on front lawns appear to be quite the addition to any landscape. After all, you can decorate them for every holiday such as with green vests for St. Patrick’s Day. Take them inside, please.
5. Wagon Wheel
This may be a leftover from frontier days when families built a house where the wagon finally broke down. Some traditions are best left in the past, even if it is a doublewide.
4. Concrete Anything
Concrete sculptures for the yard must be some sort of epidemic because no one seems to be able to stop at just one or two. Apparently anything can be cast in concrete, but that doesn’t make it a good idea for your yard.
3. Wine Bottle Tree
I have no explanation for this. Save the corks; recycle the bottles and save us all.
2. Lawn Gnomes
Resist the urge to join the comeback. At least put them in the backyard. Creepy and uncalled for, these gnomes belong in thrift stores and should stay there.
1. Pink Flamingos
These plastic abominations began it all. Now flamingos even come as inflatables. Imagine the horror. Give them as white elephant gifts, but never put them up in your yard.
Yard decorating is a difficult task to navigate. Put your money and time into yard decorations that are useful like residential hottubs. Decorate your yard with minimal, current decorations that fit with your surrounding area. Be the yard the everyone envies, not the yard that everyone laughs at.